Shout Out to the Big Bad Wolf ...

When did it happen that Good News was no longer “Good?” That success stories weren’t brilliant but dull? When did we canonize The Big Bad Wolf?

Think about it …. When you turn on the nightly news, what are you tuning in to hear? When you pick up the newspaper, where do you focus your attention? When you scan Facebook, do you look for photos of your friends’ kids or polarizing discussions about world events?

Good News isn’t where it’s “at” anymore. Not in our society. What inquiring people want to know is what’s gone wrong … that sells papers. That makes news. That sparks ratings.

If you think about it, the Three Little Pigs owe The Big Bad Wolf big time for their moment in the spotlight. Who would have taken the time to read about three brothers who built single-family homes in town using three different types of materials? That’s not even news. Ho hum. Yawn. Big deal.

What’s news is the huffing and puffing. What’s News is that a Wolf’s powerful evil breath blew two houses down and destroyed thousands of dollars in furniture and household goods, forcing two local residents into the wintery streets with nothing but the clothes on their backs. What’s news is that this wolf stalked and terrorized these two innocent residents, who just happened to be related to a well-established construction icon. News is that the Wolf developed third-degree burns and was rushed to a local animal hospital after trying to break into a famous construction icon’s home through his chimney … Yes … that’s news. That interest us. That keeps us tuning in for more.

Little Red Riding Hood owes a shout out to the Wolf too. Yep ... her acclaim is another credit to the Big Bad Wolf -- the cousin of the one that terrorized the Pigs. (I knew that family was no good, the neighbor was known to say in his interview on 20/20.)  

Little Girl Takes Treats to Sick Grandmother wouldn’t even make the Community page. Grandmother Eaten by Wolf moves to Section A. Grandmother Found Alive After Eaten By Wolf gets the front page … with a graphically gruesome picture to accompany it. That would be the lead off story for the Nightly News as well. Can’t you just see it now … Hunter Cuts Still Alive Grandma from Wolf, saving local little girl who will most likely require some serious counseling after all she’s been through – stalked and brutalized while delivering home-made treats to a sick relative. This wolf has long been long-known for terrorizing our community ... part of a local family with ties to organized crime … Film at 11.

Little Red was only a young girl visiting her Grandmother until the Wolf crossed her path. Then she became somebody. No one cares about the do-gooder until the big bad enters the scene.

The Three Pigs just built houses and wanted a simple life. Along comes the Wolf and a tale is structured that few can forget.

The Brothers Grimm knew what people wanted to read. Along with Walt Disney, they immortalized Sleeping Beauty after Maleficent coerced her to prick her finger on a spindle and “die.” They made Snow White important not because she cleaned houses but because she ate an apple poisoned by her evil stepmother (there's a messed up family unit if I ever saw one), fell into a deep sleep and was brought back to life! (The fact that she co-habitated with seven little men in the process gives her one heckuva backstory!)

Good News doesn’t sell. After the recent Oscars, the talk turned not to the winners and their brilliant gifts to film. Long-time notable bad-boy Matthew McConaughey didn't make the top articles after his nice, normal speech where he gave a very honorable mention to God for his role in the actor's achievements. That's nice, but it doesn't spark news cycles. No ... the day after Oscar focus settled predominantly on John Travolta for mispronouncing Idina Menzel’s name. The spotlight turned on the actresses wearing the dresses that shouldn’t have made it to the red carpet … not the ones that stunned and shone.

Happy Marriages and Lives don’t a successful TV soap opera make. It can take a week (or more) for a break up to begin and conclude on General Hospital and fans will watch every destructive moment -- a death can draw out to a month and people still tune in. Popular shows like Dallas would never have been revived if Bobby and JR mended fences in the 80’s. If JR had repented from his wicked ways after the Who Shot JR Season, the program would have drifted from prime time into the litany of non-memorable. But the fact that Sue Ellen Ewing still hasn't kicked her alcoholic ways and now delves into blackmailing her own son ... wow ... that draws ratings and attention.

Our nightly news occasionally wraps up with a human interest story … if it’s a slow news night. But it never leads with one.  We much prefer scandal and disasters. We’re morbidly drawn to the shooting of Jay Gatsby … by the speculation of how he made his fortune … by his wild parties and the intrigue surrounding his life. We don’t want to hear about the pretty ... about his love for Daisy and his loss of innocence. That doesn’t sell.

Scarlett settles down with Rhett. Aw ... how nice. Well, if That had happened, Gone With The Wind would have been 300 pages shorter and never made it to the silver screen.

What does this say about our society? Our country is fascinated by gossip and drama, obsessed with what went wrong, and drawn to stories structured by illicit activity, loss, controversy, criticism, rumor and speculation. We tune in to the news to hear about company closures, wars and world-wide crisis. We criticize our leaders and mock their choices. Around us everything is dark and messed up and falling apart and doomed. And that’s what we focus on. That’s what we care about. That's the story what we crave. And, for some crazy reason, we seem to like it this way....

Country in Great Shape would never sell papers. So instead, we hear all about what’s wrong with our leadership … what’s corrupt in Washington DC. It’s no wonder we’re afraid to allow our kids to walk to school … crime and child abductions are all over the news. It’s a wonder we even walk outside.

Big Bad Wolf Eats Local Granny … Young Girl Terrorized in the Woods … Area Hunter Cuts Grandmother From Wolf Stomach and Grandmother Survives to Tell All ….

Good news isn’t interesting. It doesn’t score the front page of the newspaper. It isn’t what people are talking about. In fact, Good News isn’t what people want to hear.

No one wants to know if you are Fine. You’re not news if life is peachy keen. But get stalked by a Wolf and they will remember you forever. You’ll have a story of your own and film at 11 ...

                                                                                                                           -- Jenni

Out of the Mouths of Babes ...

This week, I let life get to me.

Yep. All the talk about staying calm, maintaining your focus and embracing your authentic nature and still in the midst of unexpected gunk I shattered like a crystal wine glass dropped on a cobblestone walkway. Messy. Sharp pieces everywhere. Completely done in.

Life is like that sometimes. Too much. It sends waves of "stuff" your way. In Maslow's hierarchy, you travel up and down the levels like Frozen Free Fall. You field it like a tennis player as it comes fast and furiously. Oh, you've done all the prep possible. You are strong and you have it all together. You think you are prepared and grounded and ready for anything but wham ... red wine and glass stains the ground beneath your feet.

It doesn't matter what it is or was that breaks us down. It's what we do next. How we gather up the pieces and reshape ourselves.

I have been told that the real "yoga" begins when you leave class. That what a yoga class does is prepare you with poses that reflect what's going to come your way so that when you walk out the door after a class you can find the strength you need whenever you need it. You learn that you can stand strong even when you are shaking. You discover that you can hold any pose even when your muscles and mind are screaming. You realize you have what it takes to fold down, twist and reach up all at the same time to open a depth within yourself. You find awe in that moment where you can maintain balance on one leg with your other arm raised high above your head.

But ... you also are told that when it's too much, you don't have to allow yourself to panic or feel frustrated. That you might not be able to do every single thing during class. That child's pose is available whenever you need it. That sometimes, you need to back off.

That's what life is. Finding strength when you find yourself immersed in a place or conversation that puts you outside your comfort zone. Holding your ground and maintaining your inner peace when challenged or criticized. Adapting when unexpected twists occur. Finding balance amidst the many aspects and occurrences that you have to handle -- whether you like them or not.  Learning to show yourself compassion and honor who you are ... no matter what circumstances might demand.

And, learning to back off and find child's pose if it becomes too much.

I am lucky, I guess. When life gets to me ... like it did this week ... I mix up a little blend of retreat and reflection -- once in a while I have a knee-jerk reaction which never bodes well. But eventually when I'm ready, I move out of child's pose and reach out to unique mix of individuals whom I treasure. My own "Rat Pack," as I like to think of them. They typically offer a different perspective and help me find my way back on track.

But this morning, out of the mouth of my daughter, I found an amazing wisdom that I took to my yoga class and blessed me in ways I cannot even articulate ...

She took my hand, looked at me with those beautiful, innocent loving blue eyes and told me that a friend of hers had criticized her for being a "goody-goody." A friend didn't want to hang out with her because she was a "goody-goody." My sweet nine-year old girls eyes were a bit misty as she told me this.

But then ... and she prefaced this by telling me she wasn't sure she wanted to tell me the rest ... that she didn't want me to be upset or disappointed. She said that this girl wanted to help her become a "bady-bady." That once that was accomplished, she would then be her friend.  

Now, my daughter had a rough week herself. She had some friends "dump" her, leave her little but very important "club", and tell her that they didn't want to sit with her at lunch. I think each of us can remember those school days and how hard they were.

My daughter told me .... "Mommy, I thought about it. But I don't want to be a bady-bady. I like who I am and if others don't like me this way, I guess that's too bad. I'll find friends who do ... I want friends who don't need to fix or change me to like me."

Amidst life happening to her this week, my daughter found strength, found balance and a depth to herself that empowered her to embrace who she is when challenged by "gunk."

It reminded me of a time in college when I had just been dumped, by a boyfriend and a friend of mine walked in with the wisdom of a sage and spoke words I have never ever forgotten. "Well, you don't want him if he doesn't want you ..."

My daughter had figured that out all by herself. And embraced her own beauty and self even if that wasn't enough to earn her this girl's friendship. She didn't want to be in a friendship where her inner light had to be dimmed in order to earn acceptance.

Neither do I. No matter what life tosses out I will eventually find what I need to shine through it all.  Life can take you on a crazy river ride. And occasionally you may need a life vest when you hit the rapids.

When life happens (and it will!), you can find what you need inside and from people who love you and know you for all your glitter and gunk.  (Um, for the friend who threw the life-vest that hit me on the head, well, ouch! But thanks for that extra bit of perspective. Guess I needed it!)

And there is joy beyond words when you find wisdom out of the mouths of babes ...

                                                                                                         -- Jenni






 

 

40 Days in the Desert? Nope ... Choosing Another Option

The revelry of Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday rest behind us. I love the festivity of that celebration. But today is Ash Wednesday and a different feeling is in the air. Oh, some may nurse a hangover, which induces a quiet reflection of its own. But because it's Ash Wednesday, the curiouser and curiouser Alice in me has been thinking ...

Not being Catholic, I wasn't raised eliminating meat from my diet, eating Fish on Fridays or giving something up for the Lenten season. Many of my friends did. However, lately, my views have changed.

But ... since it's me ... they have taken a unique turn. (Not surprised, are ya?)

During Lent, the Christian message reminds us of the sacrifice Jesus made for each of us. And we recall the 40 days of denial he experienced in the wilderness. Now ... and I know I may lose some of you here, I look at that 40 day desert trip as allegorical and then take it into my own reality. Meaning, it matters not to me whether Jesus literally walked around starving in the desert for 40 days. I get the idea and the lesson that passage in scripture teaches. Jesus did a lot of things for me ... made a lot of sacrifices to show love. And that ... not the literal definition of 40 days in the desert ... is what I bring to my Lenten Experience.

Here's what I see as the message: Make a sacrifice & Show some love.

The traditional Lenten challenge is to give something up that is important to you. Chocolate springs quickly to mind as the most popular denial.  Candy ... that's a bit more extreme since not all candy is chocolate and by giving up chocolate only, you can secure a loophole.

You can give up Wine or Beer ... or Alcohol as a whole ... or more specifically, drinking before 5pm. Did that once. Come on ... am I the only person here who enjoys a drink before 5pm???  Be honest ... If you are a stay-at-home mom, look deep and tell me you didn't need/want/have  a glass of wine at 4 or 4:30. Before noon ... that might be another story. But hey, to each his own.

I know someone who gave up Facebook. The  current toxic aspect of this site might make that a healthy choice. Sometimes when I go there, I feel like I'm stalking my friends ... spying on them to find out what is new. A phone call would save me the trouble of scrolling thru pages of inane stuff. Give up Facebook and find a different way to connect with the significant circle in your life.

Anyway, you get the point. The spotlight is always on giving things up. Sacrifice. If you choose one and move forward with a 40-day Sacrifice, bravo. The choice is personal and optional from where I stand.

But ... here's what I want to throw out to you as a Lenten Challenge. Something new and unique. Whether or not you choose to give something up, what about initiating a Change. Doing Something Different. That's right. Enough about giving something up. What about making a choice to DO SOMETHING during Lent.

Perhaps it's writing a letter a day ... not an email or text or an instant message. A LETTER. You need to address, stamp and send it too. You'd be surprised what an impact that might make.

Perhaps it's trying a new recipe once a day. Or reading a new book a week -- maybe alternating fiction and nonfiction. Perhaps you make a craft project for a friend ... or make something for yourself using a pattern that challenges you. Perhaps you opt for something more spiritual ... a Bible Study or Yoga Challenge. Perhaps your health and spirit together might suggest 40 days at the gym or on a yoga mat. It might be a home-project that you need discipline to complete and this commitment does that for you. 

Maybe, for you, that change could be mental ... a decision to behave differently when certain cues arise. An attitude adjustment.

Whatever it is, look at Lent as a time of transformation. In the traditional way, change occurred through some type of sacrifice. But stopping something doesn't add anything new to the equation. I mean,  give up candy but come Easter Morning you're gonna dig into the kids' candy basket for those Reeses Eggs ... Right? But by adding something ... doing something ... modifying something that you do, that changes us inside.

So, here's my Lenten Challenge for you. This year ... for the next 40 days ... choose to do something. Pick something important to you, write it down, and you may be surprised at the results.

Yes, I gave something up. And yes, I'm doing something.  That's how I meet my own personal Lenten Challenge. I'm accountable to no one but myself. And I don't tell so don't ask.

But, I'll let you know in 40 days how it all turns out. Would love to hear what you choose to do ... and not do. Comment ... email ... share.

You don't have to go to the desert to experience the Love that came thru Lent. See you at the Empty Tomb in 40 days!
                                                                                                                     -- Jenni
                        

The Wrong Class?

Last week I went to the wrong yoga class.

How, you may ask, could such a thing happen? How could there be a "wrong" yoga class?

Well, not all yoga classes are created equal, believe it or not. Since beginning my yoga journey 18 months ago, I have discovered the subtle differences in the classes offered. There are Fusion, Yoga Rocks and Slow Flow classes held at the Royal Oak Yoga Shelter. Every now and than there are Yin Classes and special workshops. Other studios offer different variations with different names. A friend of mine is devoted to her Bikram Yoga. So, no, not all Yoga Classes are the same.

So, there I was at the Thursday 5:45pm class ... stretching and setting my intention like I do before each session begins. I'm not chatty before class. I get on my mat and look inward. But then the music started. The poses began. And I quickly realized this wasn't my Slow Flow Class ... this was Yoga Rocks. I'd never attended a Yoga Rocks session ... I'd been curious and considered it, but had not yet taken the challenge. Until that fateful Thursday night. I truly had no idea what to expect. 

It started with the stretching and short, faster movements. My thoughts began to race as I made the discovery. And I was faced with the question ... was I gonna fish or cut bait?

There is no judgement in a yoga class. So I could have picked up my mat and walked out without anyone thinking less of me. But then, I thought about the "intention" I had set before the session began and I decided to breathe and keep flowing.

For those of you familiar with my blog, you will remember that yoga classes typically begin with the yogi asking us to set an intention. When I first began yoga, I had no idea what that meant. I thought of yoga as simply a new variation of my exercise regime. But I quickly discovered that yoga provides the invitation to take you deeper ... if you choose to take the journey. It is a mind, body and spiritual discipline. You get out of it whatever you choose. Find what you seek. You offer up your best ... and that is always enough.

Well, as I prepared for class that evening, my "Intention" was to find a sense of calm in the presence of the storm. Peace amidst emotion. Steadiness when I felt my world quaking. I was looking for inner strength and the ability to rise above the challenges of the day ... of life. To find a stronger, less volatile perspective as "life happened."

And that's what I found.

See, as I was flowing poses faster than I ever had and guiding my own vinyasa, I realized that I wasn't in the wrong class at all. I was exactly where I needed to be to achieve what I'd hoped to achieve. I was finding calm amidst flowing poses without a guide. I was sweating and moving and smiling and centered and still breathing. Just me, the heat, the music and the mat.

If I'd looked more carefully at the schedule, I would have selected the 7:15pm class: The Slow Flow Class.  But, on this particular night, the Universe guided me to Yoga Rocks to find Calm in the Challenge ... Strength of Spirit immersed in the Unknown and Unexpected. I was seeking and actually finding Balance and Inner Poise while my spirit and body was shaking. In those early moments as I pondered whether I could do this and then decided "Yes, I can," I found acceptance even when I didn't flow the moves exactly as the yogi had stated. I found Strength inside ... I chose to be Brave when a part of me considered running for the door. 

And it was an exhilarating, amazing, self-actualizing experience.

I didn't do the moves exactly in order. I don't know if others did. I never look around during yoga. I'm very introverted on the mat. But I found a senses of joy as I created my own flow at my own pace. At every moment, I knew that all I had to do was offer the best of myself. How others view me or my best ... well, I can't control that. But in the storms of life, if I offer the best of myself, I will make it through. Just like I did that night.

Do you ever find yourself in the "wrong class?" Maybe, like me, you aren't in the wrong place at all. Maybe you are exactly where you are supposed to be in order to achieve or discover something you otherwise might miss or pass right by.

The question isn't whether you are in what you deem as "the wrong place" but what you will do while you are there. Can you suspend expectation, inner judgement and whatever holds you back from offering your best? Can you strip bare the facade and look deeper to embrace what the Universe wants to share with you? Can you look with your heart and cease wrestling with the reason in your head? Can you find the joy within discomfort? Can you hold on for a moment more? 

Can the wrong place actually be the right place?
                                                                                                            -- Jenni 

What Faction Will You Choose?

I'm Divergent. What about you?

Yes, I'm now reading the teen fic novel reflecting life choices in another post-Armageddon society. I've already delved through three of these, captivated by the words and images presented in The Hunger Games, Selection and Delirium series. Now I'm exploring another writer's view of our future. 

Admitting I'm concerned about the number of writers who forecast for our youth a bleak future with our cities bordered by fences might be an understatement. I'm consistently learning that society's projected future seems to begin with Conflict, move into Control and end in Combat ... I assume since this occurs at the end of these trilogies that all is well after that. But earth's post-apocalyptic future seems to result in dramatic and varying decisions that will keep us safe:

1. Eliminate Love from the equation and all is good. 
2. Hold an annual Fight to the death using children and our cities will tow the line. 
3. Mandate girls of a certain age apply and compete in a contest for the Prince's hand.
4. Segregate our diverse personalities into five defined Groupings and the world will run with efficiency.

What is it I'm hearing? Choice creates conflict and pain. Remove choice. Life is good ... for awhile. For a few. Yep. All these work ... until they don't. And then we're back to more fighting and more divisiveness. And in all these stories, our future world will divide us into levels and classes and specific sects as the solution to the violence prevalent in earth's past ... well, er, life's "Now."

In the book Divergent by Veronica Roth there are five factions in society ... Abnegation which embraces total selflessness; Candor which takes honesty to the extreme; Erudite which is dedicated to knowledge, intelligence, curiosity, and astuteness; Amity which advocates peacefulness, kindness, forgiveness, trust, self-sufficiency, and neutrality; and Dauntless -- which I would define as descendants of the James Dean film Rebel Without A Cause -- but in terms this generation would better understand is generally noted for the intense way they explore and demonstrate courage, bravery, and fearlessness.

But there is another segment of this new societal order .... those that are Divergent. If you are divergent, you "diverge" from the norm ... In other words, you dance to your own beat or march to the rhythm of a different drummer or don't play by the typical rules. In the novel, being Divergent is considered dangerous. A Divergent mind is open, not closed, and willing to explore ideas not typically embraced. To me that means that a Divergent mind sees beyond societal expectations and norms, recognizes rules and accepted ideas but chooses its own path, asks questions, loves authentically, shows compassion to itself, looks through limited belief systems to find its own truths and refute absolutes and ... most importantly ... thinks for itself.

In the many versions of this story that I've read, the simpler path is to just play the game. Follow the rules. Don't fight back. Accept the face value of what appears before you. Don't challenge the status quo. If you do, pain and trial and death and loss and divisiveness results. Just smile and go with the flow. Don't color outside the lines. The status quo is fine ... Don't question. Don't be curious and take no chances. Accept. Don't wonder what is beyond the fences, which are placed there for your good.  

If you do, pain will be the result.

So I wonder, as I read, about Eve and the proverbial Apple. Besides the obvious fact that great designers like Valentino and Calvin Klein would have never risen to their current status, without the Apple we wouldn't experience all the death, loss and drama that mankind has undergone for centuries. We couldn't miss what we didn't know. We would be blissfully unawakened and unelightened. We would be peaceful and hanging out in the garden of life unconcerned about designer fashion and thoughts of pleasure related to long, deep slow wet kisses. We would be content and not distracted by passion or the knowledge it takes to challenge the status quo.

Would that be better, in the long run? To remain in the dark and ignorant of what you might be missing. By choosing a Faction or staying in your District or accepting a collaborative relationship selected for you by others, would we be better off?

After all, Knowledge got us tossed from the Garden. And Passion can lead to Pain. 

But, on the other hand -- and since I'm Divergent you know I'm gonna throw this "other perspective" out there -- passion can also lead us to incredible discoveries, exceptional love stories and terrifying feats of brilliance. Without Passion, the Bronte sisters would have left Heathcliff and Mr. Rochester somewhere in a journal, lost in time and dust. Without Passion, Van Gogh would be long forgotten since the intricacies of his works would have paled over time. Without Passion, man would never have reached the Moon or climbed Mt Everest. Without passion, Beethoven would have given up when deafness began to take its toll. 

Without passion, where would You be?

I guess I've come to terms with the fact that I'm Divergent. It's not the easy path ... It's Robert Frost's Road Not Taken. And it's not the path for everyone. We all make choices. But me, I could never choose one faction for my life. I see beyond limits in Technicolor. My dreams challenge rules. Maybe it's a year of yoga talking, but I have learned to embrace and celebrate my own uniqueness. I experience extraordinary highs and fathomless lows. I loathe and suffer under rejection. I dream and cry and scream and laugh. I'm not Dopey ... I'm Sleepy, Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy, and Bashful too. I will love deeply. Challenge myself and others. Make friends and lose them. I will live out loud, choosing to be passionate or be dead.

You may choose a Faction if you like. Play it safe. Retreat when conflict comes. Embrace the code. You may choose Passion. You may opt for a blend. The thing about being Divergent .... it's totally up to you how you play this pre-Apocalypic game .... 

"Two roads diverged into a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

and having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

                                     Robert Frost, 1874-1963

                                                                                                                

                                                                                                                                        -- Jenni

                                                    

Use Your China

Last Saturday as I was cleaning the house and prepping for an evening with some good friends, I found myself looking at my china cabinet wistfully.

Several years ago, I earned the money to buy this simple yet beautiful Amish-crafted oak piece after an especially stressful contract job. I'd wanted it for a very long time, stopping in to visit it periodically on the furniture show-room floor. See, my mom had told me that once I had a china cabinet, she would give me my Aunt Grace's china. No, I didn't register for china when I was married. I wanted Aunt Grace's set. As a girl, I had stood in front of my mom's china cabinet and admired Aunt Grace's china. The pattern was elegant ... gold with black against a creme background. The salad plates were square. The bowls unique. And the gravy boat and serving platter were the most beautiful serving dishes I'd ever seen. My mom had her own set so we never used Aunt Grace's china. There it sat, collecting dust in Mom's dining room. Unused for decades.

When I finally acquired the China cabinet, Mom brought it up, triple-bubble wrapped, and helped me unpack it.  I displayed it immediately.

But, I haven't used it much. Like it did under my mom's care ... it was lovingly displayed but left sitting quietly in the cabinet, unused and collecting dust.

Not sure why that hit me on Saturday. But as I was waxing floors and cleaning house in anticipation of guests (yes, I like to clean), I found myself standing before my china cabinet just like I did as a young girl, wistfully gazing at something special and fragile. I thought about Aunt Grace. What would she think of her dishes constantly on display like some museum pieces? My discovery at that moment? I think she'd prefer that they were used. 

So ... on impulse, I opened the glass doors and removed what had long been kept sacred for "special occasions."

I draped an elegant Victorian white tablecloth on the oak dinner table. I pulled out the chest holding my grandmother's silver. I selected cloth napkins, both my "Juliet" crystal and new crystal "Scandal" wine glasses (figured there might be white AND red wine) and decorated my table with Aunt Grace's china. I laid out the salad forks and soup spoons, arranging glasses, dessert forks and knives just like I learned in my Eighth Grade Home Ec class. Loved learning that ... (Pretty sure table-setting isn't taught anymore. Heck Home Ec isn't taught anymore!)

When finished, I stood back to admire my creation, wondering why I had waited so long.

I never met Aunt Grace or her husband Uncle Alba. My mom used to visit their farm. She has many treasured memories of those visits -- she now actually owns that farm. A hand-sketched picture of Aunt Grace -- and that china -- is all I know of a woman who seemed to play a pivotal role in my mother's early years. The relationship is kinda sketchy. I believe Uncle Alba was actually my Grandmother's Uncle ... making him my mother's Great Uncle and my Great-Great. So it would be my Great-Great Aunt Grace's china. Not sure it matters except to tell me how old this Noritake set is ... It's probably turn of the century. It is numbered. It is registered. It is special. And I love it.

I like to think Aunt Grace loved it too. And that she would like to know it was treasured AND used.

So on Saturday night, I used it ... I even used the tiny coffee cups and saucers for my friend and I to indulge in an evening cup of caffeine as we enjoyed the delicacy she made from scratch ... Bubble Room Orange Cake. The recipe comes from a restaurant famous for its desserts in Sanibel, Florida. It was amazing .... and I ate a whole piece!

Do you do that? Save things to be used only for "special occasions?" Most people do. They choose to keep things under lock and key for times designated by our calendar as special or extraordinary.

But it's not just "things" kept under lock and key. It's not just things we keep hidden away in the dark. It's thoughts and ideas. Writings. Hidden novels and poems. Plans for trips. Emotions. Why do we not pay that complement? Why do we put off that call? Why do we not make those plans with a friend we haven't seen in a while? Why do we postpone? Why do we wait and save our efforts for "special occasions?"

Didn't Harry Chapin's message reach you when he sang Cat's In The Cradle? 

What are we waiting for? We don't have any guarantees about tomorrow. Each of us plans and looks ahead as though we're promised a future. But we ignore and dismiss today as we gaze longingly ahead ... as we await the right moment or the special occasion. But what if we don't get that tomorrow? What if that friend moves away or that relationship fades into the background or the unexpected occurs? What if you've left words unspoken and laughter unshared because you were saving them for just the right moment ... for later ... planning it for later ... putting it off til later.

None of us has any guarantees about "tomorrow." Oh, I'm not advocating being reckless or careless. But our founding father Thomas Jefferson knew what he was talking about when he said "Never put off for tomorrow, what you can do today." 

But we keep doing it. Saving things or conversations or plans for tomorrow. Refraining from reaching out or making that call or recognizing how much someone means to you until that "special occasion" when the planets all align. 

Consider this from Proverbs 3 27-28: Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, "Come back later; I'll give it tomorrow" when you now have it with you. 

Bottom line ... none of us knows how much time we have. Carpe Diem ... seize the day ... make as many moments special as you can.  Relationships are as fragile as china. Don't lock them away to pull out on a special day or when the "time is right."  Don't hide your talents under a bushel. Make the call. Start the blog. Search out a publisher. Go on the vacation. Send the text. Reach out. Don't put off till tomorrow what you can do today ...

And use your China. 

                                                                                                                         -- Jenni

Walking Without A Net ... aka Just Listening to the Muzac

Did you ever go to the circus? Do you remember the dazzling performers on the flying trapeze swinging back and forth high in the air and performing incredible feats? Do you remember the Tight-Rope Walker wearing the ballerina-esque gown and daringly stepping across this ever-so tiny length of rope? It would quake with each step yet she never faltered.

Ringling Brothers & Barnum Bailey Circus was a staple during my childhood. Memories of it remain etched deep. And though many may say it was the clowns piling out of the teeny car or the enormous elephants or the daring lion tamer that they recall clearest, for me it will always be the Tight-Rope Walker.

As a child, I don't recall if there was a net below her. For safety (and insurance) purposes, I'm sure there was. But perhaps part of the thrill and the challenge for these circus performers is working without a net. It certainly forces them to stay focused. It demands that they walk one step at a time with care and confidence. It requires them to remain solidly in the present. If they get ahead of themselves and allow doubt, fear, distraction, over-thinking -- or what they plan to do after the show -- to pull their focus, they would surely fall. So perhaps they work without a net just to keep themselves deliberately centered on that edge and to keep the audience on the edge with them.

I can't truly say. I don't remember ever looking down ... just up. I watched her take each tiny step until she reached the other side. I didn't take my eyes from her. I didn't even breathe.

Don't know about you but I find myself relating to that Tight-Rope Walker more and more in my own life.  These days, I find myself taking one tiny step forward at a time -- focusing only on the moment at hand. On keeping my balance right now. On making that one step count. I have no goal in mind. No idea what is ahead except for the next step. No idea how far away that other platform is. No list. No action plan. No idea what is out there. For a woman who defines herself as a planner, this is not an easy place for me to be. But, here I am.

And I'm pretty certain the RingMaster neglected to put up the net.

It is said that life -- I think of it as "The Universe" -- works in waves of three. Good things, challenges, opportunities, losses, trials, joys, etc ... they come in threes. As I stand suspended in mid-air, the Universe has rocketed my tightrope recently with three shock-waves. I have to honestly admit that I'm reeling a bit as I work simply to maintain my balance ... and my smile. The Tight-Rope Walker of my memory not only looked lovely in that sparkly dress but she never appeared without that smile. (And perfectly coiffed hair!)

So as I stand in mid-air suspended on the tight-rope, I breathe and offer up the best of myself. I mean, isn't that what each of us does every single day, especially as challenges and the unexpected arise? No matter how good we are at lists, plans, goals and organizing, we can't anticipate everything. So, as "life happens," all we can do is breathe and offer up the best of ourselves in the present moment. Pressure and disappointments come our way and each of us will inevitably experience moments of discomfort. Kinda like a diamond.

Diamonds don't obtain their brilliant sparkle unless they undergo heat and pressure. So too we must undergo heat and pressure to become better versions of ourselves. 

So, as I shake on that tight-rope, I'm becoming stronger .... brighter ... sparklier. And, I'm coming to terms with the notion that I'm right where I'm supposed to be at this point in time. 

Maybe you are on a tight-rope too. May not be what you want to hear, but perhaps that's exactly where you need to be.

See, as I stand here, I find myself discovering that The Universe provides cues to let us know we are exactly where we need to be -- no matter how uncomfortable we might be in that place. They may be subtle or bold ... but there are cues. Sure we might not like the message or stage direction. But little cues from The Universe reinforce that we're in the right place now. For me, the cues are little things ... I hear a song or read a reference or a quote in a book that means something to me and it resonates in my heart. Something happens ... I call these the "ah-ha" moments. I am drawn to yarn that I love, buy it without a pattern (the book cost too much) and then discover exactly what I wanted on Craftsy for $5! Little hints come my way ... if I pay attention. And, as I stand shaking on the tight-rope, I am absolutely paying attention.

It's that and more that helps me trust I will get to the platform on the other side. I am walking without a net. I will struggle at moments in taking the next step. I may stay in one place for a bit until I'm ready to  move. But I will keep smiling ... eventually reaching the other side. After all, I've heard it said that sometimes the soul needs isolation and rejection to break away and do what it needs to do on earth. 

A good friend (let's just call her Molly Ringwald ... I'll explain later) was there for me when one of these shock-waves hit. And she reminded me that the Universe knows what it's doing. It has plans for me that will eventually become clear. She unknowingly guided me to a verse in Jeremiah (Chapter 29, verse 11). And I'm working to come to terms with the idea that no matter what is happening at this moment, the Lord has plans for me that I just don't understand yet ... "plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future." As I walk this tight-rope, I'm being readied for something.  

Maybe you find yourself on a tight-rope walking without a net as well. Maybe you feel unsteady or uncertain. As someone who loves goals, lists and plans, I'm struggling with not having something specific on the horizon. I'm struggling with not having something in mind to reach or to look forward to. I'm struggling because I don't know how long this wire is or what I will find when I get to the other side. I don't like it one bit. But, it's where I am.

Are you having difficulty seeing the platform on the other side? Well, I'm gonna share my friend's suggestion. She told me to hang tight and listen to the Muzac. Eventually, the Universe will guide me to the place I'm meant to be.

I have confidence that I'll get to the next platform. I'm gonna walk without a net. BUT if I have to listen to the muzac, I'm gonna pick my own Playlist ... and I'm gonna walk that Tight-Rope with a great dress on and smile.

What about you? Are you walking without a net? Are you listening to the Muzac too? It certainly ain't easy. But you choose how you take the steps. You choose how you manage the silence. That you can control. The outcome may be unknown. But how you take each step is up to you.

                                                                                                                       -- Jenni